I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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