It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
