I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
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I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
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Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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