How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
