i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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