you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
