i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize