am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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