at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
