its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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