you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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