I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize