i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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