One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
