So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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