she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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