I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
