did you get engaged???
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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