New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize