So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
someone owes me an orgasm
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
