2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
