When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
