I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I FOUND THE LEGS
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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