Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
