Have you finally orgasmed yet?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
