dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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