Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
