Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
