I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
