nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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