Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
