please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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