You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
