just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
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Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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