If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
