i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I will pee on everything he values.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
