Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
