I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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