My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize