just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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