I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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