She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
