remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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