hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
