yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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