I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
