They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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