i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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