I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
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I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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