are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
