Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
