mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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