I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
