Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize