Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize