Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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