Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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